You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
