They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
