very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
