Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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