Say something about gay babies.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
