Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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