You're my little dorito
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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