I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
