He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My bed smells like the plague
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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