Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
