Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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