Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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