I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
