He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
