i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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