I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
