btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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