My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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