Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
