What a fucking waste of an outfit
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
