I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
organizing the empties. That sober.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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