He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
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