I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
