Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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