Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
