I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
