i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
