STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
