can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
