I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
