i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
