bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
