he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Best friends brother. Beat that.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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