AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
