Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
