Too much gin, very little bucket
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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