I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
