just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
