Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Go christen that room with your naked body.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
