just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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