The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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