you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
