I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
