The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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