No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize