My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
