i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
