she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
