Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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