I accidentally burped into my bong.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
