Moan for me like Helen Keller
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
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