hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
