the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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