i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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