We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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